ahatlikethat's recent activity
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Comment on Privacy woes and autonomy, where do I go now? in ~tech
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Comment on ASUS demonstrates a pattern of scammy, questionably-legal practices to deny customer RMAs in ~tech
ahatlikethat LinkThank you for posting this. I don't own ASUS anything, but ended up watching to the end, and then several other of their videos. Really impressed with the depth and professionalism of their reporting.Thank you for posting this. I don't own ASUS anything, but ended up watching to the end, and then several other of their videos. Really impressed with the depth and professionalism of their reporting.
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Comment on Hi, how are you? Mental health support and discussion thread (May 2024) in ~health.mental
ahatlikethat Link ParentHi. Reading your post, what resonated with me is what you said about your first wife and your pets. My mom died from cancer almost exactly 4 years ago. For ten years I was her primary and pretty...Hi. Reading your post, what resonated with me is what you said about your first wife and your pets. My mom died from cancer almost exactly 4 years ago. For ten years I was her primary and pretty much only caregiver. No one can imagine what that is like until they go through it. I am so sorry for your loss but also so respectful of your having done that.
I lost the best dog I will ever have suddenly through an aggressive cancer last year. We now have two 20-year-old cats (one was my mom's) and a 17-year-old cat who is my heart. She nearly died last year through the horrific negligence of a emergency room vet. I've spent the last year trying to help her live the best life available to her now (cognitive damage caused by an extended period of low oxygen, don't get me started), and with some other problems, I feel it's probably I'm looking at her last months. I can't bear to think of a time without her, and I also don't want her to suffer. We communicate well, so I'm hoping she'll tell me when she's ready.I bring this up, because for me, the situation with my pets brings up a lot of the desperation and sadness and helplessness I felt toward the end with my mom. Like no matter how hard you work and love and care, you can't stop them from dying, but you can't not try. Maybe it's like that for you, too? People tend to gloss over other people's bonds with their pets and their grief when they are gone. I just want to say I hear you, that I honor those bonds you have, and that I hope the best for you and your family (including your pets, of course.)
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Comment on The tech baron seeking to “ethnically cleanse” San Francisco in ~life
ahatlikethat Link ParentI agree that would solve a lot of problems. I get why there are super rich people who want to become little kings. What I don't get is how they manage to have so many followers. Why would you want...I agree that would solve a lot of problems.
I get why there are super rich people who want to become little kings. What I don't get is how they manage to have so many followers. Why would you want to choose serfdom? Like he promises the grey shirts these tiny perks. Not the chance to reap in any sizable benefit financially or socially, not the ability to determine their working conditions or any mention of life outside of being an employee basically owned entirely, and people want to buy into that? Why? -
Comment on Clothes shopping as a short & fat (trans) guy with narrow shoulders in ~life.style
ahatlikethat LinkHave you considered adding shoulder pads to the jackets? A tailor could put them in between the jacket and the lining, or you could sew them in yourself.Have you considered adding shoulder pads to the jackets? A tailor could put them in between the jacket and the lining, or you could sew them in yourself.
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Comment on Is climate change driving the global rise in populism? If so ... how? If not ... what is? in ~enviro
ahatlikethat Link ParentI found an old Guardian article that goes into depth about the nuances of populism and its application by various groups--scholars, media, left and right. It didn't exactly clarify things for me,...I found an old Guardian article that goes into depth about the nuances of populism and its application by various groups--scholars, media, left and right. It didn't exactly clarify things for me, but it does a good job of showing why (and to an extent, how) someone like Trump and someone like Bernie Sanders are described as populists when their goals and methods are so different.
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Comment on Best "dad" jokes and puns! in ~talk
ahatlikethat LinkThey only joke I can ever remember...surely that meets the dad joke qualification! A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"They only joke I can ever remember...surely that meets the dad joke qualification!
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Why the long face?" -
Comment on Linux Distro Recommendations in ~comp
ahatlikethat (edited )Link ParentI suppose folks can draw their own conclusions. I would disagree about the not learning from their mistakes. If I recall correctly, there was an issue with one of the main guys going awol, and...I suppose folks can draw their own conclusions. I would disagree about the not learning from their mistakes. If I recall correctly, there was an issue with one of the main guys going awol, and with everything registered in his name, it took a while to sort all that out and reorganize. I'm also not to sure why anyone is very concerned about a SSL cert on an archived and therefore non-interactable old forum. I read a lot about security and have found them to keep up security updates at a brisk pace. As far as stability, I have 8 years of stability with them personally, so I am very happy to recommend them.
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Comment on Linux Distro Recommendations in ~comp
ahatlikethat LinkI've been using Manjaro with KDE for about 8 years now. It was the first Linux OS I stuck with after deciding to exit Windows. Before settling with Manjaro I tried a few others, including Mint,...I've been using Manjaro with KDE for about 8 years now. It was the first Linux OS I stuck with after deciding to exit Windows. Before settling with Manjaro I tried a few others, including Mint, but I found the support communities unwelcoming. In contrast, the support community of Manjaro is extremely newbie friendly.
It is a rolling release, based on Arch, so there are frequent updates (about once a month.) In all these years, I have had only one occasion where I had to reinstall everything due to a Manjaro update breaking things. I have had to do some tinkering on occasion, but like I said, support is fantastic. I have also broken my system a few times on my own, and I've had incredibly helpful support people spend hours with me to fix it.
Manjaro is really flexible too, especially with KDE. You can adjust almost anything to your liking, or you can just use as is.
If you never want to update, then Manjaro isn't for you. If you want to learn about Linux, though, I thing rolling releases are a great way to slowly accumulate knowledge and confidence. I really couldn't be happier using Manjaro.
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Comment on I bought a house, now what? in ~life.home_improvement
ahatlikethat Link ParentThe biggest mistake I did with our property when we first bought it was to go for immediate results. A lot of flowers and shrubs in places that they were unhappy with equaled a lot of work and...The biggest mistake I did with our property when we first bought it was to go for immediate results. A lot of flowers and shrubs in places that they were unhappy with equaled a lot of work and money lost. I'd take time to watch your land--how the shadows change over the course of the year, where the winds tend to blow the worst, where the cold seems to sink and stay longer in the day, that sort of thing, before making any permanent or expensive landscaping. For low-investment, high-yield immediate gratification, sunflowers will grow almost everywhere, feed the birds and invite beneficial insects.
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Comment on What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them? in ~games
ahatlikethat Link ParentWitcher 3 was my favorite game of all time, until I started playing Cyberpunk 2077. Pretty much everything you write here also applies to that game. (Especially the "I know it was flawed at the...Witcher 3 was my favorite game of all time, until I started playing Cyberpunk 2077. Pretty much everything you write here also applies to that game. (Especially the "I know it was flawed at the time of release...") When I get tired of 2077, I will probably go back to Witcher 3.
With CDProjekt, I feel like their vision always exceeds their technical abilities and/or timeline, but I admire that they keep at it until it truly is a masterpiece. I know folks get mad at buying basically a beta at full price, but to me it's a fascinating window into process of creation.
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Comment on Why are Americans fighting over no-fault divorce? Maybe they can’t agree what marriage is for. in ~life
ahatlikethat Link ParentI think more than that, the right believes that the contract implied in marriage is that a woman is submitting herself as the property of the man, and under his dominion.I think more than that, the right believes that the contract implied in marriage is that a woman is submitting herself as the property of the man, and under his dominion.
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Comment on VHEMT: the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement in ~life
ahatlikethat Link ParentI am with you 100%. Maybe more, because I decided as a teen back in the 80's that the world had too many people, and there was nothing superior about my genes to support the damage done to the...I am with you 100%. Maybe more, because I decided as a teen back in the 80's that the world had too many people, and there was nothing superior about my genes to support the damage done to the world by adding to the population. I figured if I ever felt desperate for children, it would make far more sense to adopt. (Which I never did.) The personal and financial benefits of not having children were afterthoughts, but definitely real. I do think about the environment and I do in fact try to make an impact in other ways--in my case by eating vegetarian and growing organically and supporting native ecosystems on my property. But there are many ways to try to make an impact, and even if all childless people who thought the environmental impact was a primary factor also were attempting to make other positive environmental impacts, those could be widely dispersed and hard to track.
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Comment on What if US public housing were for everyone? in ~life
ahatlikethat LinkI grew up in Montgomery Co, back in the 70s and 80s. In sixth grade there was forced bussing of kids from "the projects" into our middle class (though ethnically diverse) school. I remember...I grew up in Montgomery Co, back in the 70s and 80s. In sixth grade there was forced bussing of kids from "the projects" into our middle class (though ethnically diverse) school. I remember driving by the place where some of my new classmates lived and being shocked at how miserable, dirty and depressing it was.
I am very happy to see that this is changing in a positive way, and I really hope it is only the beginning. -
Comment on What books would you recommend for me? in ~books
ahatlikethat Link ParentI'd second all of these for literary fiction. Flowers for Algernon still tears me apart, though I haven't read it in 40 years. My partner teachers it in middle school so it's not that hard a read...I'd second all of these for literary fiction. Flowers for Algernon still tears me apart, though I haven't read it in 40 years. My partner teachers it in middle school so it's not that hard a read (though he also teaches Macbeth, soo...)
I'd add a few more literary options:
Never Let me Go, also by Ishiguro. It's science fiction but entirely within the realm of possibility in the near future. I think there was a movie, never saw it.Anil's Ghost or The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje. Do not be swayed by the horrible and maudlin movie of the English Patient. The book is so much more and so much better. Ondaatje writes like a poet. The English Patient won the Booker Prize. Anil's Ghost is more contemporary a setting, if that matters to you.
Oscar and Lucinda by Peter Carey. Also has a terrible movie I hope you never suffered through. It takes place in early-colonized Australia, and what people did to make it there. Fits well with your preferred world view and is very well written. Also won the Booker Prize.
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Comment on Ancient Sahul's submerged landscapes reveal a mosaic of human habitation in ~humanities.history
ahatlikethat LinkOK, so anyone familiar with the NY post should know to take everything there with a grain of salt. In this case, the illustrations of greek-style ruins underwater are completely unrelated to the...OK, so anyone familiar with the NY post should know to take everything there with a grain of salt. In this case, the illustrations of greek-style ruins underwater are completely unrelated to the actual article. The scientist found no archeological remains, and are postulating about the populations that the area might have been able to support based on geographical evidence. The time frame of human occupancy is well before the Greek civilization. Just nonsense.
The actual scientific article is interesting enough, no need for the made-up Atlantis angle.
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Comment on <deleted topic> in ~life
ahatlikethat LinkAfter my stepfather died, for various reasons the most feasible plan was for my partner and I to build an addition to our house and have my mom move in. This brought a LOT of adjustments, a fair...After my stepfather died, for various reasons the most feasible plan was for my partner and I to build an addition to our house and have my mom move in. This brought a LOT of adjustments, a fair amount of emotional difficulties, but once she was diagnosed with cancer, it was definitely the best choice we could have made.
My mother wasn't an alcoholic but had a number of mental/psychological conditions that made connecting difficult. Here are just a couple of thoughts I had after reading your post:
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I commend and completely understand your decision to spend time with him. It is a gift you are giving him, but he may not see it that way. He may be, at various times, put off that you are interrupting his routine, suspicious that you are judging him or threatening his independence, embarrassed or humiliated that he needs your help, angry that you weren't there all along. He may need time to adjust and to process. He may need time alone. I'd suggest going into it with a very open mind and flexible expectations. And give both of you lots of extra chances.
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TV is something I barely pay attention to, but for my mom, some shows were like a second family. Especially when she had cancer, and the pain was so bad, melting into her shows was a serious relief for her. Maybe don't dismiss TV out of hand. I found that sitting with her while she was watching her shows provided an opportunity to be together, see her laugh, let her feel accepted, and also sometimes led to the chance to have meaningful conversations that grew naturally instead of being forced and confrontational.
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As someone with intractable pain, I have noticed how easy it is for other people to forget about it, dismiss it or assume I'm used to it. You never get used to it. Not saying this is what you would do with your dad, just hoping you'll remember.
I sincerely feel for you. The road you are looking at walking is rough and full pf pitfalls. In my case, at the end I was so glad I did everything I could for my mom, even more than I thought I could at times. I know I got to a place with her in our relationship that I never would have otherwise. Of course your situation is different, but I believe the effort you are making will be worth it, even the missteps.
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Comment on Simple Mobile Tools bought by ZipoApps (company offering apps with ads and tracking) in ~tech
ahatlikethat Link ParentYeah, I downloaded from F-droid, but I uninstalled completely just the same. I don't want to waste my time trying to outmaneuver a company I no longer trust. Done that before, it's never worth it...Yeah, I downloaded from F-droid, but I uninstalled completely just the same. I don't want to waste my time trying to outmaneuver a company I no longer trust. Done that before, it's never worth it in the end.
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Comment on What are your favorite Christmastime movies that don't deal with Christmas as a topic? in ~movies
ahatlikethat (edited )Link ParentI have two, for art-movie lovers: Night on Earth (1991), a Jim Jarmusch film with music by Tom Waits. Five cab drives in different world cities on one winter night. It's funny at times but not an...I have two, for art-movie lovers:
Night on Earth (1991), a Jim Jarmusch film with music by Tom Waits. Five cab drives in different world cities on one winter night. It's funny at times but not an in-your face comedy. I think it fits because of its themes of human connection, understanding, and responsibility for each other. Also the last vignette is in Helsinki and there is a lot of snow. A link to the IMDB page
My Twentieth Century ( Az én XX. századom), a film in hungarian by Ildikó Enyedi, from 1989. I chose it because of its attention to wonder, serendipity, and magic. Also it ends up on New Years Eve. I saw this movie back when it came out, and have never been able to shake the beauty of this films use of light and shadow. A link to the IMDB page
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Comment on Simple Mobile Tools bought by ZipoApps (company offering apps with ads and tracking) in ~tech
ahatlikethat Linkwow, that sucks. Thank you for posting. I've been using a bunch of these for years.wow, that sucks. Thank you for posting. I've been using a bunch of these for years.
I agree with this. I installed Fresh Tomato using this guide a few years back on my Netgear R7000. I added DNS blocking at the router level, and it prevents all kinds of ads, etc, even on my roku. Previously I was using an older router firmware that became obsolete. Using open source firmware has the benefit of working on older routers, too, so you might be able to find something used if your current router isn't supported (though lots are, you can see the list of supported devices on the Freshtomato site) Another benefit of flashing Fresh Tomato is that you can set up guest/virtual wireless channels, which might help with your kid's stuff not crossing into your own. I
Flashing your router can be pretty nerve-wracking, especially the first time, especially if you are prone to dwell in worst case scenarios, but I found patient execution of the instructions resulted in success, and when I did run into a problem I could fix it using this forum even though my router isn't linksys.