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    1. Some thoughts on cleaning up my shitty apartment

      So, I have some crap lying on the floor. Not crap in the sence that it goes straight to recycling, just lots of tidbits which I don't exactly know what to do with; semi-sorted papers, notebooks,...

      So, I have some crap lying on the floor. Not crap in the sence that it goes straight to recycling, just lots of tidbits which I don't exactly know what to do with; semi-sorted papers, notebooks, various VR gear, some books which I don't really have room for in my bookcase, some folders where some of the papers should probably go into, my laptop, a stone which I guess I use for weightlifting except I forget to do that, and when I see all this stuff, my brain just shortcircuits.

      So I decided that, okay, I can just ignore this and try tidying up this shelf which I had tried to make into a sort of cabinet of curiosities but which over time had degenerated into a bit of mess; a LCD game, the box to said LCD game, vintage headphones, vintage phone, retro Nokia mobile, beach glass, fossils, various stones, some mess which doesn't really belongs here, a cat skull (I think) ... and of course, the same thing happened. My brain just said nope, too much to deal with.

      I know there are ways to go about it. If getting my apartment in a habitable state is too much, I can ignore all of it and just focusing on one room. If my coding project seem to overwhelming, I can decide on a alpha milestone to work towards and based on that make a bucket list of the tasks and start with the most basic one, and if the first one is too overwhelming, split it up into sub-tasks. So there are some tried-and-true ways to deal with it.

      But for the first time, I started to wonder what exactly goes on with the brain here? Why does something consisting of a relatively small number of sub-tasks seem so overwhelmingly hard? Is it like that for everyone, does it have a name, what?

      24 votes
    2. For proponents of "vote for the lesser of two evils", what is your endgame?

      If I understand folks with that PoV correctly: if you are a democrat or typically vote democrat, you generally think that republicans are a danger to democracy, bad for the lives of minorities,...

      If I understand folks with that PoV correctly:

      if you are a democrat or typically vote democrat, you generally think that republicans are a danger to democracy, bad for the lives of minorities, and the disadvantaged/LGBT+, etc.
      If you are a republican or typically vote republican, you generally think that democrats are a danger to democracy, divide the country with identity politics, etc.
      (obviously I am making sweeping generalizations of both camps off the top of my head but hopefully the point comes across)

      But, I don't get what your endgame is. Like, you make it seem like if the other party wins, the country is screwed. but you can't possibly think that the country will forever vote for your party for President, right? So you think America is destined to go downhill depending on how many years the opposing party is in power?

      America flips between red and blue. So the other party is bound to win at least once a decade imo. and yet I hear how democracy is more at stake now than it's ever been if "the other party wins". So I don't get the long-term viability of "lesser of 2 evils" approach.

      Since I doubt America will become less angry and divisive anytime soon thanks to yallls 24 hour news networks and the social media companies that make more money the more Americans are mad at each other.

      Then again, I am by no means an expert so where am I wrong or have I misunderstood something?

      13 votes
    3. What is a value or belief you have that is extremely outside the norm?

      There are a lot of unorthodox or minor values and beliefs in societies. For example, in Western countries, veganism is relatively rare. But still, it's not unheard of and it's gaining traction. In...

      There are a lot of unorthodox or minor values and beliefs in societies. For example, in Western countries, veganism is relatively rare. But still, it's not unheard of and it's gaining traction. In the same way, radically egalitarian values are in no way popular, but they are definitely heard of. Think of ideologies that based themselves on them, like anarchism or utopian socialism.

      We all have values and beliefs we hold dear, but even the ones that are very unorthodox most often fall into a tradition in some sort of philosophy, and have some significant following and historical grounding.

      Obviously, no matter how unorthodox a belief is, there's going to be some historical grounding and tradition. But think of the beliefs and values you have, and consider whether you have any that is found in even less than 1% of the population. Do you have such values or beliefs, and why?

      ...

      In my case, it's the fact that I despise nature. By nature, I don't mean being exposed to beautiful parts of it in a safe environment. I mean the hunger, the thirst, the violence, the diseases, the cold, the hot, and similar hardships. I mean nature in its glorious violence and random acts of suffering. I cherish life, and I do my best to contribute to its conservation, and that's why I despise the violence inherent in nature. Metaphorically speaking, Mother Nature is the most abusive parent in history. As an extension of this, in the grand scheme of things, I see the violence of nature as a much bigger problem than violence of humankind.

      41 votes
    4. Are most political talks performative?

      This is a thought I had, and I'm not saying it's necessarily true, or at least cynically true. But I think it brings to the fore an interesting point, and I want to emphasize how it feels like. I...

      This is a thought I had, and I'm not saying it's necessarily true, or at least cynically true. But I think it brings to the fore an interesting point, and I want to emphasize how it feels like.

      I feel like people are mostly interested in politics from a distant and uninvolved point of view. For example, in more progressive spaces, there's all this talk about fear of climate change, deteriorating international politics, rise of right wing authoritarianism, populism, nationalism, etc. However, I feel like people expect others to do something about it. There's this passivity and inaction, and no real effort to combat such changes. I feel like debates, talking, ruminating and such perform a theatrical function that makes you feel as if you've contributed to "doing good", but you actually don't do anything. This is what I mean by performative.

      This is not to say talking is unimportant. It's a major component of politics, and it's a core value and function of democratic and egalitarian approaches. However, it feels to me like doomscrolling and dreading or being angry about political things is seen as being politically conscious and active, while political consciousness can't exist without action.

      What are your thoughts about this? Have you had similar thoughts, or do you think differently? How do you emotionally handle this?

      24 votes
    5. Expanding upon other peoples' thoughts in discussions

      Lately, I've noticed that during small group discussions in professional settings, especially in virtual meetings, I have a tendency to contribute additional thoughts after someone else shares...

      Lately, I've noticed that during small group discussions in professional settings, especially in virtual meetings, I have a tendency to contribute additional thoughts after someone else shares something. My colleagues are often quiet which leads to awkward silences between topics, and I feel that for the discussion to flow smoothly, there needs to be some form of response or reciprocity to what was said. So, I often take on the role of expanding upon others' points, even if what I say doesn't add much. I should note that, I myself am an introvert through and through, but these awkward silences still make me uncomfortable and it's kind of annoying to see a mute icon pop up when it's supposed to be an active conversation. I suppose this is a habit that carried over from my days of hosting Bible studies many years ago, where active participation was hard to come by. People don't often share, but when they do, it helps to have someone acknowledge it - in my opinion, at least. I similarly engage like this in D&D where, in roleplaying scenarios, I'd use my character to fill in the empty spaces of conversation between other players and the DM, even if it's just a simple response that wasn't explicitly necessary.

      My question is: do people, including yourself, appreciate it when someone responds or adds to their point in this manner? I struggle to discern whether I'm actually facilitating the conversation or hogging it in an annoying way. I'm open to feedback or hearing from your experiences.

      17 votes
    6. AI, automation, and inequality — how do we reach utopia?

      Ok, not utopia per se but a post-scarcity-ish economy where people have their basic needs—food, shelter, healthcare—met virtually automatically. A world where, sure, maybe you have to earn money...

      Ok, not utopia per se but a post-scarcity-ish economy where people have their basic needs—food, shelter, healthcare—met virtually automatically. A world where, sure, maybe you have to earn money for certain very scarce luxuries like a tropical island trip, jewelry, nightly wagyu steak dinners, or a penthouse overlooking Central Park, but you get enough basic income to eat healthily and decently every day, have a modest but comfortable home, and not stress out about going to the hospital — and then you can choose if you want to work to earn money to buy additional luxuries or just spend your time to do sports, make art or music, pursue an academic interest, counsel or mentor others in your community, or devote yourself to nature conservation.

      I want to get this conversation rolling regularly because it's evident that we're on a cusp of a new economic era — one where AI and automation could free us from a lot of menial physical and intellectual labor and the pretense that everyone has to work to earn their continued existence. It's evident that not everyone has to work. If anything, our economy could be more efficient if incompetent or unmotivated folks just stayed at home and got out of other people's way. I think we all know someone who stays in a job because they need it but are actually a net negative on the organization.

      It's an open-ended topic, and there's a lot to talk about in this series—like, how would we distribute the fruits of automation? How would we politically achieve those mechanisms of distribution? What does partially automated healthcare look like?—but I think it'd be good to first talk about current economic inefficiencies that should and could be automated away.

      25 votes
    7. Making tough decisions: what’s your go-to approach?

      Do you go by gut/heart feeling? Do you analyze by head? Do you write out long lists of pros and cons on paper? Do you consult a lot of family and friends and then go by consensus majority? Do you...

      Do you go by gut/heart feeling?

      Do you analyze by head?

      Do you write out long lists of pros and cons on paper?

      Do you consult a lot of family and friends and then go by consensus majority?

      Do you overanalyze and agonize and hit decision paralysis? If so, how do you get over that or push through it?

      25 votes
    8. What does “going with your gut” feel like to you? How did you learn to “trust your gut”?

      As the title indicates, I am curious how folks have “gone with their gut intuition”, especially in circumstances where they are faced with tough decisions or life-altering changes. Some...

      As the title indicates, I am curious how folks have “gone with their gut intuition”, especially in circumstances where they are faced with tough decisions or life-altering changes. Some thoughts/prompts for discussion:

      • What does your “gut” feel like to you?
      • How do you reconcile differences between your “gut feeling” and what your brain is thinking/telling you?
      • How do you get to the point where you decide to “go with your gut”?
      • Can you share examples of when you went against your brain, and followed your gut, and it turned out to totally be the right decision for you?
      • Do you have any examples of when you followed your gut intuition, instead of what your brain/logical mind was telling you, and it came back to bite you?
      • How have you learned to “trust your gut”?
      • What tactics or steps have you learned to take when trying to parse between what your “gut” is telling you and what your “brain” is telling you?

      Curious how other people listen to their gut and use that intuition to make decisions or choose which direction to go in (concerning life stuff, career stuff, relationship issues, etc.).

      20 votes
    9. Why don't we do more food-based activism?

      In the past few months I have been reading a lot about historical food culture. It's kind of amazing how much things have changed here in the US. Over the last century or so we have basically...

      In the past few months I have been reading a lot about historical food culture. It's kind of amazing how much things have changed here in the US. Over the last century or so we have basically eliminated communal eating and massively changed the economics of prepared meals. At one point we had automats and cafeterias which skipped out on most of the "front of house" service and focused on serving large volumes of people to keep prices low. There were also diners, which are much different from what we consider to be a diner today; they were very small places that only prepared simple things that needed very little labor to prepare; things like hash browns, sandwiches, or pancakes, so the food was still very cheap. But because they were small, they were able to serve smaller markets that other restaurants were not able to capitalize on. Compare that to today, where diners are just restaurants that have 50s style decor.

      But the thing I think is much more unusual is how rare we see food used in service of a message. It's something that has a long history across the globe. Most notably, religions operate food kitchens that help to bring poor people into their folds. Some religions actually have a built-in food culture that includes feeding your neighbors. It's really effective too; there's a small chain of restaurants where I live that has inexpensive food which has some bhuddist texts at the dining tables, and honestly it had me considering joining a religion for the first time. If I spoke Chinese they might have got me! Eating food requires a baseline of trust, so if you can get someone to eat at your restaurant you will bypass a lot of the caution that people approach the world with.

      With that being said, why isn't food-based activism a lot more popular? I'm sure that it would work for much more than religion. A restaurant that acts as a messaging platform doesn't necessarily need to be funded by food sales, so they can undercut the competition on price and reach an even greater audience. Given the ways I have seen religions use food to further their means, I think that it could even go farther than changing people's minds about topics and actually motivate people to take action and join communities who are actually making real change. Food is both relatively inexpensive and it's something that everyone needs to survive, so it seems to me that food-based activism is the single largest missed opportunity for community organization.

      20 votes
    10. As I get older, I get more and more disillusioned with "activism", and I'm fine with this

      Long story short, I grew up believing that a great deal of worth of someone's life was effecting change, especially politically. That's why I valued activism. It took courage, especially...

      Long story short, I grew up believing that a great deal of worth of someone's life was effecting change, especially politically. That's why I valued activism. It took courage, especially considering I don't live in a developed country.

      The older I got and more problems I faced, I started to realize how unsatisfactory, even hollow this was. Modes of activism I engaged in didn't seem to fulfill me emotionally anymore, they were mostly impersonal, and they didn't seem to change anything. I have a lot of views that are extremely unorthodox for the place I live in, and I don't see any political movement that internalizes those values. I am extremely alienated from the "nation" I am supposedly part of, and from the political movements within it.

      Another angle is that I recently realized how misguided I was. I was mostly doing mental labor, believing in the axiom that ideas can change things. But after some time and readings, I started thinking activities that aim for collective action and concrete changes (e.g. syndicates) were much more important. These are not available to me.

      I feel like I have wasted a lot of my time. I pursued ideals more than my own emotional needs, believing they would make me happy and fulfilled, and they didn't. I pursued a way of engaging in politics that felt good but didn't effect change.

      Don't get me wrong, while this is exasperating, it's also extremely liberating, joyful even. I enjoy the moments of quiet destruction that bring about the new. I no longer feel ashamed to admit I want comfort and stability in my life, and I don't want to take unnecessary risks. I have enough problems as is.

      With this being said, I haven't given up on effecting change. I think it's much more convoluted and different than what I imagined when I was younger, and it's not generally about "going out there and showing up" or writing political texts and such. There are also levels to creating change, as it's not a binary thing.

      At this point, I want to primarily live for myself, participate in some kind of change without risking myself to the point of overwhelming anxiety, and make more personal and real connections with people in general, including during effecting change.

      What I've written here is a bit rough, but it's still an ongoing and raw process for me, and this post is more of a conversation topic, rather than a properly structured argument. I am interested in hearing your opinions. Has anyone had similar experiences, or things this post reminded you of?

      49 votes
    11. Can friendships be forced?

      The foundation for organic friendships they say is repeated, unplanned interactions (which I think I largely agree with). But this isn't always feasible, depending on the environment you're in. Do...

      The foundation for organic friendships they say is repeated, unplanned interactions (which I think I largely agree with). But this isn't always feasible, depending on the environment you're in. Do you think a truly rich and organic friendship can be "forced"? What, if anything, is lost?

      14 votes
    12. Fellow hardline materialists, how do you "enchant" the world?

      As the classical argument goes, as the metaphysical aspects of the universe were stripped away by materialism, it was disenchanted. That it became more soulless, barren, and less enjoyable. While...

      As the classical argument goes, as the metaphysical aspects of the universe were stripped away by materialism, it was disenchanted. That it became more soulless, barren, and less enjoyable. While this argument has merit, I don't think it's necessarily true.

      For example, I'm a hardline materialist, meaning I don't think any metaphysical phenomenon exists, there is no afterlife, and that it's extremely unlikely a "God" exists. However, I also create dramatic and playful narratives around existence. I think of the natural laws of the universe as cold, unfeeling, grand Lovecraftian gods. I also think of the human existence, struggle, and search for warmth and meaning as an existentialist endeavor, a rebellion against this cruel and hostile cosmos. It can be likened to the narrative in Dark Souls or Berserk. A suffocatingly dark cosmos that also has warmth scattered around.

      This is my way of "enchanting" these jumbled together random bits that we call a universe, and the lives lived within it. So, other hardline materialists, how do you "enchant" your life and view of the world?

      I don't think it will be an issue, but just in case, please, no non-materialist answers. This topic's intention is not to debate anyone about materialism or metaphysics, but to have a conversation among a particular group of people.

      26 votes
    13. Fellow Canadians, what's on your mind this week?

      I'm preoccupied with a couple of things. The first being that the federal budget was just released and I'm feeling like a national school lunch program and an injection of money into housing with...

      I'm preoccupied with a couple of things.

      The first being that the federal budget was just released and I'm feeling like a national school lunch program and an injection of money into housing with the expectation that cities build higher density dwellings is... Something they should have done mid mandate?

      Is there even time to implement this stuff? Are we getting close to the point where we've spent too much?

      Second is a quote from a compilation of personal accounts from travellers into this country's north in the 1800s. Farley Mowat assembled the stories and wrote the forward for "Tundra" in the 1960s and says the following

      "Until 50 or 60 years ago, the Arctic was a living reality to North Americans of every walk of life. It had become real because men of their own kind were daring it's remote fastness in search of pure adventure", unprotected by the vast mechanical shields that we now demand whenever we step out of our air conditioned sanctuaries".

      He goes on to talk about how -- most of all -- easily heated dwellings and running water had a softening effect on people, and that (basically) we fear and avoid Canada's climate far more than our forebearers did.

      Wondering what people's thoughts on this are.

      From what you learned from grandparents or earlier generations about spending time outside, would you agree that the comforts of home are just too damned seductive?

      13 votes
    14. Parenthood venting thread

      I think my son is the cutest six-month-old that has ever lived, but damn, this month has been so hard. We all had COVID in the beginning of March, so my wife and I burned a bunch of sick days...

      I think my son is the cutest six-month-old that has ever lived, but damn, this month has been so hard.

      We all had COVID in the beginning of March, so my wife and I burned a bunch of sick days while being very ill, exhausted, and awake all night with a screaming baby. Screaming.

      He got better for about 2 days and then immediately got a nasty cold which he kindly passed to us. More sick days, more screaming, less sleep than we got with COVID.

      The cold turned into an ear infection after two weeks of horrible congestion, so his doctor put him on Amoxicillin. Except the Amoxicillin didn't work on the ear infection after 9 days of treatment. Oh, and he started having bloody diarrhea.

      We went to the doctor immediately and they said, "Oh, yeah, that's definitely blood and that's not great. We're going to try a different antibiotic now and send his stool to get tested."

      Then, my washing machine, which was full of diarrhea pajamas, broke down. After several hours of tear down, I was able to drain it and replace the drain pump.

      Washing machine was working great, except the gasket/seal on the door is old and didn't go back on properly during the repair. Water on the floor (minor leak, no big) and now have to deal with replacing that.

      Meanwhile, the kid still doesn't sleep at night and seems to communicate mainly through crying, whining, and grunting. The fact that he isn't babbling, squealing, or mimicking us is honestly a little stressful. He's six months old and I'm seeing him "become conscious" in a lot of really amazing ways. His laugh is absolutely incredible, he plays with toys in what seems like a pretty advanced way, he is crushing his physical and cognitive milestones way ahead of schedule, but he has a handful of social milestones he hasn't hit yet. My wife has autism in her family and I have ADHD, so any developmental delays are obviously pretty concerning to me. He is making eye contact and laughing though, so I guess that's good.

      I really shouldn't complain. I'm a teacher and we just had a week off. Most people don't get that. But I'm so exhausted and work tomorrow just sounds daunting. We can't send the kiddo to daycare with bloody diarrhea and I seriously cannot take any more sick days this year. I guess one silver lining is that my mother-in-law came up from out of state when my wife told her she was losing her sanity over all of this. So, we do have a couple days of childcare covered this week.

      Tl;Dr: Month from hell.

      Edit: I'll add a positive. He was super funny and full of laughs today and yesterday during the day time (night time still isn't fun). He also seemed to get a little scared during the eclipse today during totality, and I think that's adorable in a way. He did a pouty whine and only stopped when I put him closer to me and let him see my face.

      Anyone else want to share some war stories?

      38 votes
    15. What learning do you find easy or difficult? And why?

      Recently I have been trying to learn a new language, because I need to more so than I want to, and it's been really tough. While this isn't a shocking revelation, I had a bit of a deep dive to try...

      Recently I have been trying to learn a new language, because I need to more so than I want to, and it's been really tough. While this isn't a shocking revelation, I had a bit of a deep dive to try and think about how and why I don't like learning a language. I do enjoy learning about a great deal of other things in my spare time, why not this?

      So I pose the following questions to you:

      • What kind of thing do you enjoy learning about?
      • Do you find a specific format or type of learning helps you when it's tough?
      • Do you always use the same format of learning?
      • What do you not enjoy learning? Why? Try and explain what it is that makes it difficult compared to above.

      Be interested to hear how different people feel.

      19 votes
    16. On creation for creation's sake

      I want to make a game. ... is what I've been telling myself for the past few weeks. Honestly, I might have subconsciously had this thought for the past few months, if not years. Strange as it...

      I want to make a game.

      ... is what I've been telling myself for the past few weeks. Honestly, I might have subconsciously had this thought for the past few months, if not years.

      Strange as it sounds, I've gone on a weird mental journey in getting to the point where I'm able to acknowledge this desire. I've always had a vague, constant urge to be creative, but for the past few years, this urge has been tied to an outcome: "I want to write a JS library because it'll make for a cool product later"; something like that. Inevitably, having that outcome in mind makes me set a standard of perfection for what the thing is supposed to be, which makes me start planning every piece of the thing, which... tires me out, and then I just don't do it.

      I'd say I've been better about this recently, in that I'll sometimes do one-off things because it seems like fun at the time. Small coding projects that serve no purpose at all. I randomly got into drawing for a week, so the day's drawing for that week. Rediscovering this process has been fun, and it's definitely been fulfilling to just marvel at my work without having to check off boxes for what the thing is supposed to do.

      But now, I've got the idea that I want to make a game. A game isn't a small project, or at least not as small as what I've been working on recently. I'm pretty sure my motivation for wanting to do this is entirely intrinsic: I just want to do it, I don't want to sell it, I don't care if nobody plays it. And yet, I'm still finding it pretty hard to do anything.

      Firstly, I don't have much time during the week to work on this game; I also work full-time. Second, when I do have time, I find it pretty hard to make any progress. A game isn't small, so I feel the need to plan stuff out, even just roughly. Which is what I do at work. So then it just feels like work. I tire of planning pretty quickly, and I think I've come to conflate this tired feeling with burnout at work, so I just stop and scroll on the internet.

      Sometimes I'm able to focus and just write something without planning. It's nice when I'm able to do this, but inevitably I start thinking about the bigger picture... "Okay, the protagonist feels X because the theme I'm going for is Y, which..." and then the planning starts again.

      Anyway, this is all a very long way to say that I struggle with creating for creation's sake, partly because budgeting my time as a full-time laborer is hard, and partly because I have trouble seeing the trees for the forest, so to speak. Have you all ever had to deal with this? I'm curious to know what's helped you, or just your thoughts on the topic/my situation.

      Cheers!

      24 votes
    17. If happy people do nothing?

      "I mean, pain is the ultimate driving force of life itself. Why do we sleep? Because we're tired. Why do we eat? Because we're hungry. Why do we talk to people? Because we fear isolation, etc....

      "I mean, pain is the ultimate driving force of life itself. Why do we sleep? Because we're tired. Why do we eat? Because we're hungry. Why do we talk to people? Because we fear isolation, etc. Just like in the movie Trainspotting (1996), where heroin users drown out the pain of existence with substances. Does that mean if someone becomes overly focused on anything, they feel a stronger dissatisfaction with life? And could this be used against us? Like this quote from the book Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig:

      The world is increasingly designed to depress us. Happiness isn’t very good for the economy. If we were happy with what we had, why would we need more? How do you sell an anti-ageing moisturiser? You make someone worry about ageing. How do you get people to vote for a political party? You make them worry about immigration. How do you get them to buy insurance? By making them worry about everything. How do you get them to have plastic surgery? By highlighting their physical flaws. How do you get them to watch a TV show? By making them worry about missing out. How do you get them to buy a new smartphone? By making them feel like they are being left behind.

      26 votes
    18. CMV: Once civilization is fully developed, life will be unfulfilling and boring. Humanity is also doomed to go extinct. These two reasons make life not worth living.

      Hello everyone, I hope you're well. I've been wrestling with two "philosophical" questions that I find quite unsettling, to the point where I feel like life may not be worth living because of what...

      Hello everyone,

      I hope you're well. I've been wrestling with two "philosophical" questions that
      I find quite unsettling, to the point where I feel like life may not be worth
      living because of what they imply. Hopefully someone here will offer me a new
      perspective on them that will give me a more positive outlook on life.


      (1) Why live this life and do anything at all if humanity is doomed to go extinct?

      I think that, if we do not take religious beliefs into account, humanity is
      doomed to go extinct, and therefore, everything we do is ultimately for nothing,
      as the end result will always be the same: an empty and silent universe devoid of human
      life and consciousness.

      I think that humanity is doomed to go extinct, because it needs a source of
      energy (e.g. the Sun) to survive. However, the Sun will eventually die and life
      on Earth will become impossible. Even if we colonize other habitable planets,
      the stars they are orbiting will eventually die too, so on and so forth until
      every star in the universe has died and every planet has become inhabitable.
      Even if we manage to live on an artificial planet, or in some sort of human-made
      spaceship, we will still need a source of energy to live off of, and one day there
      will be none left.
      Therefore, the end result will always be the same: a universe devoid of human
      life and consciousness with the remnants of human civilization (and Elon Musk's Tesla)
      silently floating in space as a testament to our bygone existence. It then does not
      matter if we develop economically, scientifically, and technologically; if we end
      world hunger and cure cancer; if we bring poverty and human suffering to an end, etc.;
      we might as well put an end to our collective existence today. If we try to live a happy
      life nonetheless, we'll still know deep down that nothing we do really matters.

      Why do anything at all, if all we do is ultimately for nothing?


      (2) Why live this life if the development of civilization will eventually lead
      to a life devoid of fulfilment and happiness?

      I also think that if, in a remote future, humanity has managed to develop
      civilization to its fullest extent, having founded every company imaginable;
      having proved every theorem, run every experiment and conducted every scientific
      study possible; having invented every technology conceivable; having automated
      all meaningful work there is: how then will we manage to find fulfilment in life
      through work?

      At such time, all work, and especially all fulfilling work, will have already
      been done or automated by someone else, so there will be no work left to do.

      If we fall back to leisure, I believe that we will eventually run out of
      leisurely activities to do. We will have read every book, watched every
      movie, played every game, eaten at every restaurant, laid on every beach,
      swum in every sea: we will eventually get bored of every hobby there is and
      of all the fun to be had. (Even if we cannot literally read every book or watch
      every movie there is, we will still eventually find their stories and plots to be
      similar and repetitive.)

      At such time, all leisure will become unappealing and boring.

      Therefore, when we reach that era, we will become unable to find fulfillment and
      happiness in life neither through work nor through leisure. We will then not
      have much to do, but to wait for our death.

      In that case, why live and work to develop civilization and solve all of the
      world's problems if doing so will eventually lead us to a state of unfulfillment,
      boredom and misery? How will we manage to remain happy even then?


      I know that these scenarios are hypothetical and will only be relevant in a
      very far future, but I find them disturbing and they genuinely bother me, in the
      sense that their implications seem to rationally make life not worth living.

      I'd appreciate any thoughts and arguments that could help me put these ideas into
      perspective and put them behind me, especially if they can settle these questions for
      good and definitively prove these reasonings to be flawed or wrong, rather than offer
      coping mechanisms to live happily in spite of them being true.

      Thank you for engaging with these thoughts.


      Edit.

      After having read through about a hundred answers (here and elsewhere), here are some key takeaways:

      Why live this life and do anything at all if humanity is doomed to go extinct?

      • My argument about the extinction of humanity seems logical, but we could very well eventually find out that it is totally wrong. We may not be doomed to go extinct, which means that what we do wouldn't be for nothing, as humanity would keep benefitting from it perpetually.
      • We are at an extremely early stage of the advancement of science, when looking at it on a cosmic timescale. Over such a long time, we may well come to an understanding of the Universe that allows us to see past the limits I've outlined in my original post.
      • (Even if it's all for nothing, if we enjoy ourselves and we do not care that it's pointless, then it will not matter to us that it's all for nothing, as the fun we're having makes life worthwhile in and of itself. Also, if what we do impacts us positively right now, even if it's all for nothing ultimately, it will still matter to us as it won't be for nothing for as long as humanity still benefits from it.)

      Why live this life if the development of civilization will eventually lead to a life devoid of fulfilment and happiness?

      • This is not possible, because we'd either have the meaningful work of improving our situation (making ourselves fulfilled and happy), or we would be fulfilled and happy, even if there was no work left.
      • I have underestimated for how long one can remain fulfilled with hobbies alone, given that one has enough hobbies. One could spend the rest of their lives doing a handful of hobbies (e.g., travelling, painting, reading non-fiction, reading fiction, playing games) and they would not have enough time to exhaust all of these hobbies.
      • We would not get bored of a given food, book, movie, game, etc., because we could cycle through a large number of them, and by the time we reach the end of the cycle (if we ever do), then we will have forgotten the taste of the first foods and the stories of the first books and movies. Even if we didn't forget the taste of the first foods, we would not have eaten them frequently at all, so we would not have gotten bored of them. Also, there can be a lot of variation within a game like Chess or Go. We might get bored of Chess itself, but then we could simply cycle through several games (or more generally hobbies), and come back to the first game with renewed eagerness to play after some time has passed.
      • One day we may have the technology to change our nature and alter our minds to not feel bored, make us forget things on demand, increase our happiness, and remove negative feelings.

      Recommended readings (from the commenters)

      • Deep Utopia: Life and Meaning in a Solved World by Nick Bostrom
      • The Fun Theory Sequence by Eliezer Yudkowski
      • The Beginning of Infinity by David Deutsch
      • Into the Cool by Eric D. Schneider and Dorion Sagan
      • Permutation City by Greg Egan
      • Diaspora by Greg Egan
      • Accelerando by Charles Stross
      • The Last Question By Isaac Asimov
      • The Culture series by Iain M. Banks
      • Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom by Cory Doctorow
      • The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus
      • Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
      • This Life: Secular Faith and Spiritual Freedom by Martin Hägglund
      • Uncaused cause arguments
      • The Meaningness website (recommended starting point) by David Chapman
      • Optimistic Nihilism (video) by Kurzgesagt
      23 votes
    19. “Both-sides” and when is nuance acceptable discourse?

      I feel like some sort of alien asking this question but there is this negative connotation I keep seeing towards acknowledging “both sides” of an argument. Now, I know that things that have...

      I feel like some sort of alien asking this question but there is this negative connotation I keep seeing towards acknowledging “both sides” of an argument. Now, I know that things that have racism, sexism, and violence on one side and do not have such abhorrent views on the other clearly have a “good” side, but I also get the sneaking suspicion that calling something “both-sidesy” in a context where there are not such clear boundaries is a potential manipulation tactic to dismiss nuanced arguments. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Is my dividing line correct or are there other things to consider?

      39 votes
    20. Oh my days! 3.5yr old got his big boy bed.

      My eldest is 17, the other two are 15 & 14. I forgot just how tiring it was doing the switcheroo from cot to bed. Now he can get up. We've had 27 wees, 2 poos and 5 books this evening. We started...

      My eldest is 17, the other two are 15 & 14. I forgot just how tiring it was doing the switcheroo from cot to bed. Now he can get up. We've had 27 wees, 2 poos and 5 books this evening. We started put down at 7:20pm, it's now 9:10pm and I won the war. It took going old school Super Nanny style, waiting for the door to open, scooping up and putting in bed repeatedly whilst staying silent, until he finally burnt out. He did that 19 times.

      It took 3.5hrs 6 days ago, last night he was down in 15 minutes, we thought we had it. Oh, so wrong.

      I'm not after any sleep advice, just ranting. It's a lot harder when you're mid forties doing this than when I was early to mid twenties, that's for sure.

      Feel free to throw me your amusing stories and pains of sleep training a little dude/dudette that's found independence. I could do with a laugh.

      30 votes
    21. How much does a creator's worldview influence whether you use their tech or consume their media?

      Watching the drama around kagi unfold and it has me wondering how much you take into consideration a creator's view on things like homophobia, sexism, racism, etc. when deciding to use a product....

      Watching the drama around kagi unfold and it has me wondering how much you take into consideration a creator's view on things like homophobia, sexism, racism, etc. when deciding to use a product. I think most of us have a bar somewhere (I would imagine very few on this website would ever consider registering on an altright platform), so where is that bar for you? What about art? Have you boycotted JKR or dropped your opinion about Picasso because they're transphobic and misogynistic respectively? Is it about the general vibe of a product or piece of media, or are you more discerning? What goes into this decision and why?

      48 votes
    22. How do/did you survive post-war social disarray and unreliable/non-existent supply chains?

      This started as a post on asking about how long you think you could survive a massive supply chain disruption and associated collapse of authorities ability to intervene. But the more I thought...

      This started as a post on asking about how long you think you could survive a massive supply chain disruption and associated collapse of authorities ability to intervene.

      But the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to paint a picture of a postwar context. Post-Yugoslavian War, post-Korean War, etc. Also, I don’t know if we’ve had any recent memories of sudden, total plunges into anarchy.

      I wonder if the modern economy has lengthened the farm-to-table too much that no one could reasonably expect to sustain themselves for any longer than they have food in storage.

      What strategies would you use/did you use to survive? Did society break down into roving gangs? If such a thing happened now, do you feel like you could weather the storm?

      You can thank my being snowed in the last few days and watching World War Z, The Last of Us, Book of Elijah, Elysium, the Alone TV series and the Band of Brothers for inspiring this post.

      19 votes
    23. Why don't we help each other?

      There was a brief mention of the Amish and their self-sufficiency in the Capitalism topic that got me thinking, so I thought that I'd share my thoughts and start another discussion. My...

      There was a brief mention of the Amish and their self-sufficiency in the Capitalism topic that got me thinking, so I thought that I'd share my thoughts and start another discussion.

      My understanding of the Amish way of life - as someone who is probably thousands of miles away from them - is that they are not really self-sufficient insomuch as they are insular. They don't like to rely on the government, but they heavily rely on their community.

      A lot of us here are leftists - some might even go so far as to call themselves socialists or communists. But for the most part we are advocating for government to provide support, and often it's the federal government rather than their local governments. For those of you who do, my question for you is this: why aren't you trying to help out the locals. And I don't just mean your city, I mean your neighborhood or even just your block.

      I'm not talking about things like homeless shelters or nonprofits, I'm talking about mutual aid societies. People are complex; they don't just need things, they need people. They need assurance, motivation, and love. These are things that the government does not provide. The US Surgeon General state we are having a lonliness epidemic right now, and that it's majorly affecting people's health. We've had conversations about the lack of a third place but an even bigger problem is the death of our community hubs. It might be a good thing that people are getting less religious, but losing the church was a much bigger hit than people give credit.

      We've had many comments in the past deriding "slacktivism". When you throw your voice into the void, you have no real power. But if you put your voice into your town hall, you have tremendous power. Giving money to the government is like having one billionth of a difference to a great many people, but helping out a person in your community is a huge impact in their life which might be the one thing they need to stop them from falling off a cliff. I don't think you'll find anything more socially gratifying.

      I titled this "why don't you", but I'm also very much interested in hearing from people who do community work why they do and how they manage to fit it into their lives.

      72 votes
    24. What is there to do anymore?

      I’ve noticed that when I’m not at work, I’m at the house and even when I think of going out, I can’t think of anything to do. I enjoy going to the movies, but that’s pretty much the only getting...

      I’ve noticed that when I’m not at work, I’m at the house and even when I think of going out, I can’t think of anything to do.

      I enjoy going to the movies, but that’s pretty much the only getting out I do. When I hang out with friends, it’s typically to bars, but I’m feeling unfulfilled drinking to drink.

      What is there to do?

      57 votes
    25. On media outlets frequent use of the term "Iranian-backed"

      Hamas in Gaza, Hezbollah in Lebanon, Houthi rebels in Yemen, and militias in Iraq and Syria. Whenever western media outlets speak of these groups they seem to prefix the term Iranian-Backed. I'm...

      Hamas in Gaza, Hezbollah in Lebanon, Houthi rebels in Yemen, and militias in Iraq and Syria.

      Whenever western media outlets speak of these groups they seem to prefix the term Iranian-Backed.

      I'm starting to raise my eyebrows a bit at how universally the term is being used. It feels almost mandated. My understanding is these are indeed supported financially and materially by Iran, but they also very much operate independently. So the extent of the relationship is unknown or at least debated.

      Does this strike anyone else as odd or suspicious? Is this use fair and justified?

      My mind can't help but wander to the laying of a propaganda foundation for direct conflict with Iran.

      23 votes
    26. We techies are responsible for "You'll own nothing, and you'll enjoy it."

      This hit me while watching the latest Gamers Nexus video discussion with Wendell, and Steve recited the quote. It's often brought up as the inevitability of modern product ownership as company...

      This hit me while watching the latest Gamers Nexus video discussion with Wendell, and Steve recited the quote.

      It's often brought up as the inevitability of modern product ownership as company executives push profit-first practices like subscriptions, licenses and anti-right-to-repair designs. However this neglects the fact that these systems don't come from nowhere - they have to be built by programmers, engineers and designers.

      I don't know if those same people support right-to-repair and freedom to manipulate what you buy in their private lives (or if they have even thought about it), but it seems like every techie I speak to does support it, yet somehow these things keep getting made.

      I want to try and escape my bubble about this. I don't believe the engineers are powerless against the executives - if the engineering community works together and don't backstab, I think these systems can be prevented at the technical level and never see the light of day.

      What happens at these notorious companies (John Deere, Apple etc.) that I'm missing? Is the lure of money too great? Is the threat of being back stabbed too large?

      41 votes
    27. How do you deal with socialization during the Holidays?

      The Holidays by the end of the year are a time for meeting a lot of family members that we may not have seen for a long time. For a lot of people, this a joyful moment of relaxation where they can...

      The Holidays by the end of the year are a time for meeting a lot of family members that we may not have seen for a long time. For a lot of people, this a joyful moment of relaxation where they can enjoy the company of those they love. For others, this can also be a stressful period, when tensions, trauma, and insecurities related to family relationships emerge, often in unexpected ways. Different people experience those events in vastly different ways.

      Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert?

      What does Christmas (as well as other events with a component of "forced" social gathering) mean to you?

      How did you manage it this year?

      Is this usually a happy time for you? Why?

      16 votes
    28. Thoughts on anti-Zionism?

      I have been pretty consistently pro-Palestine and critical of injustices perpetrated by Israel, but the anti-Zionist stance has always seemed to me to be counterproductive. On the issue of just...

      I have been pretty consistently pro-Palestine and critical of injustices perpetrated by Israel, but the anti-Zionist stance has always seemed to me to be counterproductive.

      On the issue of just the legitimacy of the state of Israel, here's my basic stance: All land controlled by all governments was taken at some point through conquest (this is not a whataboutist stance, it's a tautology), but in the post-colonial era we all decided that might isn't right and that a mixture of international law, norms, and democratic principles should dictate the legitimacy of territorial claims. So, the Ottoman empire fell. The British seized control of the land of Palestine and retained a moderately weak mandate over the land (moderately weak in the sense that they were the essentially undisputed administrators of the land and had a military presence, but the territory would likely try to break away if the British tried to exercise significant control over it). With this moderately weak mandate, they pushed for the creation of the state of Israel that, by extension, I would consider a moderately-weakly legitimate state under the pre-WWII paradigm. Israel fights a defensive war against the Arab states and succeeds, converting the state of Israel as defined by the original 1948 partition plan from a weakly legitimate state into a properly legitimate state. At this point, the post-WWII frameworks kick in, and all the developments in the conflict past this point should be a function of that lens (ie. Palestine wrongfully denied sovereignty, illegality of settlements, etc.).

      Zionism, in the most basic sense, is the belief in the creation of a Jewish state of Israel. There are more extreme and moderate versions of it, but that's all that it is at its core. Anti-Zionism is opposition to the creation of a Jewish state of Israel (I would not consider opposition to settlements or, strictly speaking, even to the accession of new territory into Israel proper past the 1948 borders after the two wars to be anti-Zionist itself). The anti-Zionist stance before the establishment of Israel was reasonable, but past that point is primarily a claim of one nation over the land of another nation. It's perfectly understandable at the end of the day for the Arabs and, particularly the Palestinians, to be upset about the whole situation and even to feel that a great injustice was done unto them. But that should all be relegated to the world of international affairs between established states. Ultimately, in my eyes anti-Zionism is not anti-semitic, but it's definitely anti-peace.

      36 votes
    29. Brainstorming - Is it a good idea and if yes, when will be a good time, to publicly promote the concept of nonprofit and small scale social media - an what would be good methods/strategies

      Every nonprofit organization I have ever worked with does some form of publicity/public relations to support their mission. Many have speakers bureaus of volunteers who give talks about what the...

      Every nonprofit organization I have ever worked with does some form of publicity/public relations to support their mission. Many have speakers bureaus of volunteers who give talks about what the organization is doing. Many work to get articles written about their mission and efforts.

      I think more could be done to remind people and inform people of a few things about nonprofit and small scale internet sites. For example that the early internet was centered around universities not corporations and marketing, that news organizations such as NPR and the BBC provide a valuable counter perspective to corporate news organizations, that nonprofit sites including Lemmy and Kbin and Mastadon and Tildes exist, to remind people that you can add forum or blog to a search to find small scale content and more. The point would be to make the case publicly that nonprofit and small scale internet sites 1. are still possible and viable, 2. already exist (insert several examples) 3. and and should form part of a strategy to resist corporate monopolies/dominance and create more diverse conversations and communities online.

      What are your thoughts? I'm curious about timing, (will there be a better future time?) about possible methods and strategies and about whether this is something some members here want to think about.

      17 votes
    30. Have mass migrations ever happened for positive reasons instead of because hardship or lack of opportunity in their home countries?

      Just as a preface, I am not making this post because I oppose immigration or want to turn away imigrants, much less those who can't live safely in their home countries, I just notice immigration...

      Just as a preface, I am not making this post because I oppose immigration or want to turn away imigrants, much less those who can't live safely in their home countries, I just notice immigration and misery seem to be intimately related, and it honestly makes me wonder if a world without misery is also a world without immigration, at least in the form of mass migrations of a specific people group or type of person. I also recognize that more immigration and cultural diversity does have a wide variety of benefits, regardless of it's causes or motives, and that leaving your home for some faraway country looking for some high-end job not present where you live is definitely not the fault or problem of the person migrating.

      I've been thinking about immigration recently and it kind of astounds me just how much of immigration happens because of misery, Colonialism or oppression. Here's a pretty broad and varied list of mass immigration phenomena and (as I understand them) their causes:

      • The USA has a southern border crisis (to some extent because Republicans like to exaggerate it to justify their xenophobia and so on) because Mexico and Latin America as a whole are much poorer than the USA (something the USA itself shares a good deal of blame for) and thus want to come to the USA, with illegal immigrants often doing so by any means necessary.

      • Europe (and Turkey kinda) has an Arab migrant crisis because of the (mostly) failed Arab Spring and Syrian Civil War destabilizing the region or plunging it into war, forcing million to flee to Europe, which is in large part responsible for this crisis seing as (West) Europeans colonized the whole region and set much of the stage for conflicts.

      • A large share of white people from a variety of different ethnic groups in the USA were fleeing oppression or misery in Europe (and the ones that were not came here to colonize and oppress the natives):

        • Quakers fleeing to the USA due to British persecution

        • Irish-Americans coming to the USA in largest amounts following the Potato Famine

        • The height of German-American migration to the USA followed the 1848 revolution's failure to make a more liberal and united Germany

        • Meanwhile, Black Americans, after being forcibly migrated out of the African continent to be enslaved, fled the US South in the millions starting around the 1920s as this was the nadir of race relations and the heights of the Jim Crow age. White flight to the suburbs (another large migration) was one of the main northern responses to this influx of black people.

      • In early 20th century Brazil, the government encouraged immigration from European countries and Japan to them in large part due to a need for cheap labor still unmet a few decades after the end of slavery and as a way to make the country more white. Many of the European migrants were poor workers looking to make a better life for themselves.

      • Zionism arguably owes it's existence and success to centuries of anti-Semitism in Europe and it's culmination in the Holocaust, alongside a sympathetic British Empire and UN being able to simply lease most of the Levant that they had colonized to a new Jewish state. This is layered on top of the fact that the reason Jewish people even left the Levant in the first place was oppression by several different foreign empires for centuries since antiquity. The modern state of Israel also owes the largest share of it's Jews from neighboring middle-eastern countries which also expelled them due to their own anti-Semitism.

      • In the middle of the 20th century in Brazil, millions of Brazilian northeasterners migrated to the Southeast in search of economic opportunity they lacked (and to some extent still do) at home, as well as fleeing drought in more rural zones. Notably, in the 2010s we have seen many of these people return to the Northeast following Lula massively helping the Northeast develop over his first presidency in the 2000s. For a personal anecdote, both of my mother's parents did this, and brought my mother to where I live in São Paulo, and then they also went back to the northeast in the mid 2010s.

      • Virtually the entirety of the Global South and also Eastern Europe suffers from Brain Drain, where their most educated people leave in search of better opportunity and higher incomes in developed countries and the multinationals they possess. Much of the USA's legal immigration and economic power in spite of it's numerous flaws is owed to this.

      • Somewhat similarly, most Western European countries have one or more large communities of people who originate from a country they had colonized as an empire. (The USA also owes much of their Filipino American community to owning them despite it not being the same colonialism as practiced by the British on the USA or by Spain.)

      Looking at this fairly long list of examples, I have to wonder if there are mass migrations that happened because of more positive reasons or if any of these already existing mass migrations can be explained by more positive reasons?

      25 votes
    31. Just passed my PhD defense :)

      Yo everyone, I'm fresh from the first good night's sleep I've gotten in awhile. I'm ecstatic to finally be finished (I took a longer road than most) and just felt like chatting with you fine...

      Yo everyone, I'm fresh from the first good night's sleep I've gotten in awhile. I'm ecstatic to finally be finished (I took a longer road than most) and just felt like chatting with you fine folks.

      Getting that dissertation done was a real challenge and while I'm happy I finished before George R. R. Martin finished the next ASOIAF book, I have a lot more sympathy now for him or anyone who has to write something lengthy.

      Anyone else in a graduate program or recently finished? To those who have gone through the process, what'd you do immediately afterwards? I'm in the middle of a job interview process so I can't quite take a vacation, but I am planning to stick at least a full week somewhere where I travel and do nothing.

      Tonight, I'm going to relax and watch The Magic Flute opera with friends which I've not done before.

      142 votes
    32. Do you think dreams have meaning?

      Asking because I have been having such vivid dreams lately and sometimes they touch me so much to the point that half a day, sometimes even the entire day, will be negatively affected - although...

      Asking because I have been having such vivid dreams lately and sometimes they touch me so much to the point that half a day, sometimes even the entire day, will be negatively affected - although that might also be my poor mental health (decided against posting this in ~health.mental as I wasn't sure it had that much to do with it).

      I definitely have more bad dreams when I'm in a bad place or going through things, like if I feel lonely I will dream about relationships. If I've been really into something, like a game or watching a lot of the same genre of tv or film, I will dream about things towards that genre. If I'm having interpersonal issues, I will dream about those and even have conflicts and fights in my dreams very much related to that person - I have so many nightmares about my father for example.

      I'm not into astrology, tarot cards, witchy stuff, etc., beyond it being just for fun. And I feel like dreams are more along those lines although I don't know. I just know they can really affect me.

      What's your take?

      24 votes
    33. Do you all ever wonder about this "five star" or "best" mindset?

      (Still trying to figure out what to post on this site; sorry if this is a bit abstract.) I'm not sure what to call this culture, but it's the culture that dictates everything must be 4-5 stars or...

      (Still trying to figure out what to post on this site; sorry if this is a bit abstract.)

      I'm not sure what to call this culture, but it's the culture that dictates everything must be 4-5 stars or its nothing. There is a "best" dropship identical item on Amazon. There is a "best" hole in the wall restaurant. There is a "best" takeout place near you. There is a "best" way to do things.

      It's not about "laying flat." Laying flat, as far as I understand it, is purely about not caring about the "best" professional life. What I think about is about how algorithms of "best" dictate what we watch, do, and consume, yet they are tied to false perceptions of what "best" can bring us and sometimes plainly false reviews. For example, you can have the "best" meal, but your actual best meal is the ramen place you went to when it was raining and the original restaurant you tried to go to was packed. It's completely unplanned and not thoroughly algorithm'd (though not calculation-free); it is the organic best that found us. Something about the sense of discovery can really just blow you away and surprise you.

      I remember reading an article years ago about the joy and randomness of someone curating a collection of CDs, the way you could thumb through and look at the covers, and the whole "discovery" of it.

      45 votes
    34. Is acupuncture, like, legit now?

      I remember a time when acupuncture was universally condemned as bogus pseudoscience, and I was under the impression that that remained true. However, looking for negative takes on acupuncture on...

      I remember a time when acupuncture was universally condemned as bogus pseudoscience, and I was under the impression that that remained true. However, looking for negative takes on acupuncture on YouTube is almost impossible now. Almost everything is overwhelmingly positive, including content produced by medical doctors. I could only find a few negative videos. They were short, not very good, and not very popular.

      This is a sincere question: am I really out of touch, or has everyone gone crazy?

      Anecdotally, I did acupuncture without believing in it, and it didn't do anything for me.

      30 votes
    35. Why are people weird around babies?

      I mean, I love my kid, but why do people have such an explosion of emotion when they look at a baby that is not theirs? As if it was something they desire so deeply that they can barely contain...

      I mean, I love my kid, but why do people have such an explosion of emotion when they look at a baby that is not theirs? As if it was something they desire so deeply that they can barely contain themselves? And why do they must express this emotion using words like "I wanna bite it", "I can't handle the baby smell!", "I just wanna eat it!", or "Yummy!" like they're the Cookie Monster and my kid is a cookie? Every time someone says those things -- usually women -- I imagine a man saying the same things, and it grosses me out. Why is it okay for women to say those things when a man cannot?

      I genuinely feel nothing for babies that are not my own, so it is hard for me to understand.

      Mods: please don't move this to ~life. This is meant as a causal conversation and should remain in ~talk. Thanks.

      35 votes
    36. Switching from short-term/immediate thinking, to long-term thinking

      What I mean by short/immediate thinking vs. long-term.. let's take the experience of learning a new skill (for example, riding a bike). In the beginning, the skill is difficult as you're carving...

      What I mean by short/immediate thinking vs. long-term.. let's take the experience of learning a new skill (for example, riding a bike). In the beginning, the skill is difficult as you're carving out those new neural pathways in your mind. It's grating, unnatural, uncomfortable. It seems that the rational way to think about this experience is "yes, it feels uncomfortable right now, but if I keep attempting this, eventually the discomfort will lessen, and it will get easier. It won't be like this forever." For myself (and I assume some others?), I instead get stuck in a mindset of only seeing the present moment: "this sucks and therefore it will always suck!" Yeah, I can catch myself thinking this way and correct it to consider the long-term, but that's not my default. My default is short term, now, only now.

      You could expand this to so many things: enduring temporary struggles and not letting them get you down (the situation isn't permanent, it will change), not partaking in addictive behaviors (deciding not to do something that might feel good, because you're considering the long term consequences), procrastination... list goes on and on. To me, it always seems rational to consider long term impact of your actions. If you don't, it seems you're blowing off this entire swath of information which could/should inform your decisions in the present moment.

      On the flipside, I'm not saying you should only think of the future and disregard the present... just when making decisions, it seems better to consider both, that's all..

      I have been trying for 10 months to change this about myself, yet I continue to slip back into this pattern of constant "now" thinking. I know it leads to irrational decisions. I'd love to hear others thoughts on this. Have you struggled with this? If so, how did you manage to overcome these thinking patterns? For anyone: are you more naturally a "now" thinker, or are you lucky enough to naturally consider the long-term, or maybe you bounce between both? I have no idea if this is a common experience, or if it means something is inherently irrational about the way I think.

      30 votes
    37. What's your honest opinion about people who are not afraid of asking for what they want?

      Apologies for the wordy title. Generally speaking, I do not hesitate to ask for things - needs, wants, help - especially in a professional context. I realize though that most people are not like...

      Apologies for the wordy title. Generally speaking, I do not hesitate to ask for things - needs, wants, help - especially in a professional context.

      I realize though that most people are not like me, and I think it would come across as a bit narcissistic if I started asking my acquaintances and friends about their perception of me. It's a bit of a self-serving question even here, but oh well.

      In any case, I turn to you: what is your honest opinion about people that ask for what they want? Do you have a positive or negative perception of them? Or maybe you can share some interesting anecdotes.

      27 votes
    38. Do you believe the world is controlled by competing interests, or do you think there is a "power elite" that controls the world from the background?

      There are lots of localized ideas about who runs the world, like oligarchs in Russia or billionaires in America or Rupert Murdoch and his media empire, but if there was anyone coordinating the...

      There are lots of localized ideas about who runs the world, like oligarchs in Russia or billionaires in America or Rupert Murdoch and his media empire, but if there was anyone coordinating the activities of these disparate groups I would think it would be someone doing things without a public presence, so as not to draw a target on their back.

      I've seen this idea alluded to a lot, but never really fleshed out before.

      41 votes
    39. What are your thoughts on social nudity?

      Got your attention yet? I'm a mod of the nudism sub on that other site, and I've set up camp on KBin and Lemmy in case our users want to revolt, but personally have been enjoying Tildes quite a...

      Got your attention yet?

      I'm a mod of the nudism sub on that other site, and I've set up camp on KBin and Lemmy in case our users want to revolt, but personally have been enjoying Tildes quite a bit more, despite not having a specific place to host our community (but that isn't what Tildes is for....)

      My wife and I have visited many nudist or clothing optional resorts, campgrounds, and beaches in the US and overseas. These are non-sexualized family friendly places, just like any other resort, summer camp, or beach you've been to, except that the vast majority of people aren't wearing clothes. There are multiple worldwide organizations that represent nudists, provide accreditation to resorts and clubs, making sure everyone is "playing by the rules" and maintaining a level of decorum.

      Next month we're headed back to a clothing optional music festival that we thoroughly enjoyed last year.

      There is something completely freeing about being outside in the sun/breeze/ocean/lake/whatever with no clothing, no connection to your daily life. We both have stressful jobs that require us to be "on-grid" almost all the time, and being able to make these escapes are a way to completely disconnect from the stresses of daily life. And of course, swimming in clothing, and then having to sit around in those wet clothes for the next hour is just a ridiculous idea.

      So what say you Tildes (Tilders? Tildesers? Tildees?)? Have you ever skinny dipped or visited a nude beach? Got any questions about the logistics of it?

      74 votes
    40. The impact of an accent on charisma/persuasion

      Five years ago, I moved from the southeast US to the northwest. I took my southern accent with me, and, as far as I know, it's been fine. I've been able to get work, make friends, and mostly...

      Five years ago, I moved from the southeast US to the northwest. I took my southern accent with me, and, as far as I know, it's been fine. I've been able to get work, make friends, and mostly function as normal.

      My accent is light. It doesn't sound southern to other southerners, but it does sound southern anywhere else in the US. People who have commented on it say they like it (but what else would you say, I guess 😅).

      But I'm about to take on something that will require me to be persuasive. I'm wondering what Tildes thinks: will my accent diminish my ability to be persuasive? Should I try to train my accent out and develop a more neutral accent?

      I find myself torn. On the one hand, a southern accent could immediately call to mind the stereotypes of the south: stubborn people without much education. Maybe it makes sense to let that go and start on a more level playing field. On the other hand, my time growing up in the south is part of my history. It makes me unique and maybe the upset expectations (if someone hears me and expects me to embody those stereotypes I mentioned before) could make me more memorable.

      I generally don't like the idea of filing the rough edges off things, especially when those things are people, but at the same time, I have goals I want to achieve and I'm willing to do what it takes to reach them. So, what do you think?

      Edit: I appreciate all the comments so far! For a little additional context, I want to be active in local politics. Not trying to run for office or anything. Not sure exactly where I'll be taking that on yet, but it won't be in the south.

      41 votes
    41. Is keeping Donald Trump in the 2024 US election beneficial to Democrats?

      Yes, Trump has a real chance of winning in 2024 and that would be dangerous for the world in many ways. On the other hand Trump seems like the easiest candidate for the presumptive nominee...

      Yes, Trump has a real chance of winning in 2024 and that would be dangerous for the world in many ways.

      On the other hand Trump seems like the easiest candidate for the presumptive nominee President Biden to beat.

      1. A lot of Americans are rightly scared shitless of Trump and will turn out to vote against him.
      2. Trump is likely to try to dodge debates which benefits Biden, who has a stuttering problem and a gaffe problem.
      3. Trump is elderly, like Biden so that somewhat neutralizes the age issue for Biden.

      If Trump was removed from the election DeSantis might become the front runner or nominee

      1. He is young, and the age issue would be on Biden again
      2. He might have the debates Trump would have eschewed and do well in them
      3. DeSantis would likely pick up Trump's base in that situation

      The worst scenario with Trump being removed from the election would if someone other than DeSantis became the nominee

      1. Again, the age issue would be a thing for Biden again
      2. The unknown nominee could be a better debater than Biden
      3. The unknown candidate would have neither Trump's nor DeSantis's baggage, causing more voters to stay home or swing voters picking him/her over Biden

      Edit:

      To clarify, I mean what would happen if Trump was kept entirely out of 2024 - no 3rd party runs, no vote splitting.

      45 votes
    42. Have we become programmed to be "too materialistic"?

      Let me start by boiling this idea down to a couple of phrases that I've heard online. The first is one you've probably seen around here a few times; the idea of "Enshitification"- which i think...

      Let me start by boiling this idea down to a couple of phrases that I've heard online. The first is one you've probably seen around here a few times; the idea of "Enshitification"- which i think basically boils down to "paying more and getting less". I know there's a better definition of it out there, but this is what it means to me: because of inflation and greed in general, things that used to be free or low-cost are not only becoming pricey, but their quality is degrading too.

      Which brings me to the next point: between subscription services that basically say "you don't actually own this; you're just renting it", and otherwise being unable to afford things, in... other places... online, some were saying "Oh, at this rate, the new slogan will be 'You'll own nothing and be happy about it!'"

      Also, I'd better bring in some context for the next part: I was able to leave the US, and am currently living in Asia. Which means I'm coming into more contact with various East Asian philosophies. And as I examine these philosophies, I have to ask "Is owning less ACTUALLY a bad idea?"

      Now, I realize that in many ways this turns into an Eastern vs. Western philosophy argument. For starters, the idea of "individualism" and "you have your own stuff" is very central to Western ideology in the first place- to brush on a tangent with political ideology, I think part of the reason why words like "Communism" and "socialism" cause such a freak-out is because they bring up this idea of "Wait, I have to SHARE something? No, it's MINE!" (plus the extreme example of sharing toothbrushes is always used, and I think everyone can admit that's just gross and disgusting... but I digress). In fact, some of you may remember the phenomenon that came out several years ago with Marie Kondo and minimalism- an idea that in her home country of Japan is very commonplace, but in other places like the US was a totally foreign concept. I expect some very major geographical differences also played a part in why this mindset was received very differently in the two countries. To be more specific: Japan is a small island country (especially when compared to the US), so the Japanese have to be VERY mindful of space; whereas America has TONS of space, so people keep buying crap to fill said space.

      Anyways, this brings me to my next point: there was a survey done within the last year or so about what places were the happiest. I don't remember exactly which country ranked the highest, but I do remember it was a Scandinavian country. But more to the point, the reason why they were so happy basically boiled down to "We don't have a ton of stuff, but we're very happy with what we DO have." When I read that, my immediate reaction was "Well, no wonder places like the US are miserable- we're always being pushed to Buy More Crap, with a good dose of FOMO mixed in."

      Now, let me fully confess something: even though I'm talking about maybe having too many material possessions is what makes us miserable... well, some of my biggest hobbies involve collecting things. For the one most relatable to Tildes, I have TONS of videos games for a variety of systems that are on my "I'm EVENTUALLY going to play and beat that game". Other hobbies of mine involve new things being available to buy, with many people saying "This is a MUST-HAVE!". The good news is that at least recently, I'm not buying some much of this kind of item.

      So... all this idea to say that people are becoming more miserable and depressed. There's no doubt a variety of factors are involved, but it seems to me that if we bought less crap, some things would start changing (and a few things possibly breaking), and maybe we'd be a bit happier. Of course, this completely goes against the Consumerism idea that is heavily pushed in America, but maybe that's a GOOD thing.

      54 votes
    43. A "low-risk" AMA thread for everyone

      Historically, I've found the most interesting AMA's came from seemingly "ordinary" people. (touchmyfuckingcoffee's vacuum AMA's come to mind!) I think that most everyone has one or two life...

      Historically, I've found the most interesting AMA's came from seemingly "ordinary" people. (touchmyfuckingcoffee's vacuum AMA's come to mind!) I think that most everyone has one or two life experiences, points of view, or specialized knowledge that would be fun to share or fun to learn about.

      I've toyed with the idea of hosting an AMA for awhile, but I've been afraid that maybe I wasn't "interesting" enough. Then, I realized that others might be in the same position! So instead of hosting my own AMA, I wanted to make space for a collective "Low-Risk" AMA, that I think would work especially well with Tildes' philosophy and format.

      With that preamble, I'm wondering if you would like to join me in an experiment? Let's make mini-AMA's out of top-level comments, with the Q's and A's as child comments.

      Edit: Wow! I wasn't expecting this thread to have so much staying power! Love all the conversations that are being had. FYI The early posters including myself are still answering questions, so don't be shy!

      191 votes
    44. Anyone else feel/used to feel that they will be alone both platonically and romantically, forever?

      I have cptsd and comorbid-depression, am gay and trans, and i have bad social skills (i cant even maintain eye contact with someone). I feel completely hopeless for the future and i just wanted to...

      I have cptsd and comorbid-depression, am gay and trans, and i have bad social skills (i cant even maintain eye contact with someone). I feel completely hopeless for the future and i just wanted to know if anyone else here related, or if they've recovered. Thanks
      Edit: Thank you all very much for the great responses. Maybe i'll make it :)

      37 votes
    45. What are your thoughts on the European Union centralizing into something more akin to an early United States

      As a preface, this comes from the perspective of an American looking in on Europe. I'm curious in particular what any Europeans (please include your country of origin/ethnicity if you feel so...

      As a preface, this comes from the perspective of an American looking in on Europe. I'm curious in particular what any Europeans (please include your country of origin/ethnicity if you feel so inclined) feel about this post and the future of the EU.

      Europe is a unique region, to put it lightly. The extremely high level of development relative to the rest of the world over this last millennium as well as so many technological innovations in that period of time led to a Europe ready to exert its influence upon the rest of the world. We can comfortably say that, while examples do still exist, colonialism as an institution has largely faded. Europe is a much more varied continent culturally and ethnically despite a space roughly equal to that of the USA. We've all heard the common sayings about 200 miles is long in Europe where 200 years is long in America and generally speaking that does hold true.
      That said, Europe in the modern era really does feel like many small countries functioning as one big entity with the European Union. The EU has only gained credibility and legitimacy and it is now the institution I expect to hear from on matters within the EU first, even ahead of any individual nation state.
      All of this to say, I think a united Europe is the strongest possible future for Europe. No individual state in Europe is large enough to exert an influence upon the world without the rest of Europe behind them. Globalization, while diminished in recent years, is still happening and I don't see a decentralized Europe as "winning" globalization as dozens of individually tiny states.

      I could continue writing, but I think you understand my position. Now I would like to point to the article I found that really made me think about this, here.

      I would also like to ask, what do you see Europe and the European Union standing for? Should it continue to centralize or is the current level of control enough? Too much? I didn't mention Ukraine or defense in this post but obviously that has a huge impact on all of these questions and I would love to hear if that has impacted your perspective on this admittedly grandiose idea for a united Europe.

      People from all countries welcome to discuss, but please do mention your country if you feel comfortable doing so!

      Edit: More reading for anyone interested.

      53 votes